ang ibidensya

due to insistent public demand...heto na po ang ibidensya...for your verdicts... HAHAHA!

TEMPORARY MADNESS

DISCLAIMER:
It was a really really LOOONNNGGG & BAAADDDD day, and at the end of it i badly needed a HUG! That's my official excuse!
Hay! Hay! Hay! I don't know what got to me really, it was such a stupid thing to do...so i don't know why i did it! :( I want to throw up everytime i think about it! But what the hey! it's over and done! everybody witnessed it, there's even some stupid pics to remind me of it forever... so might as well just SUCK IT UP!

So here goes, this is what happened...straight from the horses mouth...

After a long crappy and tiring day at the office, i decided to go out on this supposedly "blind date" for me fixed up by my friends from my previous building (they're desperate to see me "hooked", so for them New Engineer=New prospect for me). So we went to dinner (together with all my other friends ofcourse, they're our chaperons apparently: all 9 of them) ...had some drinks and finally decided to go out and sing.

There at the videoke place, they decided to play a game for the "couples", we should dance and whoever is the sweetest would get a cash prize...He's game, so i'm game too...it's taxi money after all! We danced...and sleepy, tired, STUPID me...LEANED on him the whole time....*just threw up in my mouth*
And to top it all off, there are pictures to back it up and prevent me from pretending it never happened! Whooooo!

But as i said, I'm sucking it up! I don't know how long I'll be throwing up in my mouth everytime I remember this...BUT...I plead TEMPORARY MADNESS

dilemma

i'm in a sort of crazy mood lately...
been receiving a lot of "Seriously!?!" from friends...
there's this thing...
i don't usually play like this so i don't know the rules...
but i keep playing anyway...
i'm not sure if what i'm doing is right or not...
i know my limitations though...
it's driving me crazy...
but the hedonist in me is satisfied as long as you keep me smiling...

i'm in a dilemma...

iv'e always been a "REAL THING" girl...

I want the real thing

Or nothing at all

I need someone that I can be sure will catch me

If I should fall

Someone who'll be there when I call

Then I'll know that it's the real thing

the "ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD" girl...

All i need is to know it's for sure

Then i'll give all the love in the world

But right now...

Just for now...

Until the REAL THING comes along...

I'd rather be "NEXT TO YOU"

Late at night when i close my eyes

Make believing that you are here

Dreaming of the things we do

If i could get next to you

In my mind, ooh I've kissed you

And it feels like a thousand times

I'd lose track of all the hours

Wishing and hoping

That I could get next to you

a wish a wish a wish wish wish...

Before 9AM this morning...my day was done...solb na birthday ko!
I was expecting a greeting...I knew it would be a huge disappointment if i don't get a greeting from you...

And then...
there you were on the phone, flirting! DAMN!!! I wasn't expecting that!
I know you were just playing with me...but I'm game! Bring it on!
It was too cute...what you did...what you said...kept me smiling the whole day...DAMN!

ask again...you might get a YES this time! (YUN!!) Hahahaha!

P.S.
was just wishing for a text greeting...
that would have been enough for me...
but you just had to do that...
thanks for reminding me not to settle...

P.P.S
behold my horoscope for today... hahaha!

Aquarius
Instead of focusing on having a sizzling affair, be happy with a warm connection.

Hmmm....but i want things that sizzle!!! :)

BUBBLY MOMENTS...

U make waking up early easy...
I look forward to seeing you everyday...
U have the perfect smart&yabang combo...
I wish I could get to know you more...
U intimidate me...
I wish you could get to know me...
U make me blush...
I hope I make you smile too...
U really really help me get thru my day!!!

You were there right at the exact moment when i needed something else to make me get up evryday looking forward to something...
I know that this might not get off anywhere but really, I'm just happy with the diversion...
I'm not sure what you think of me, or how you see me...
But seriously... seeing that very cute smile everyday is enough for me...
That's just what I need right now...
:)

BAD DAY...

A few weeks ago, while drinking some deadly albino tequila after a dozen jelo shots, a friend playfully made a prediction that one day this year, i'll get really pissed at work. who would have thought that day would come so soon (actually, i didn't think her predictions would come true at all...hahaha!)

The first time they called my attention, i admitted my mistake and promised to come in earlier. And after that, i really come in the office at 8:30 or 8:45 at the latest. and that in itself is an achievement for me already... i know i'm not yet there, but hey...i'm close to getting there. So, it was royally frustrating when i got called in again for another talk. Apparently, whatever improvement i have made still has no bearing. I still have to kiss some ass! PWEH!!! I don't play that game! I never had...never will!!! I work my ass off everytime im at the office. I provide the best service i could give... and I deserve whatever measly amount of increase i am due for my transfer. Nobody needs to beg on my behalf for me to get it. If they are saying that they'd rather let go of their good people just because of the....FINE!!! I'll be happy to look for another job, it's long overdue anyway! i have already compromised so much for them. It's time for me to fine other things that will make me happier. How or what it is...i still don't know! But I HAVE to do it! I know i have to do it for me...

BREATH...JUST BREATH...

I can't breath...it's so difficult...soooo tiring!!! Now i'm really not fine! I haven't been fine for a while...my life is not fine! This is the reason i take life a day at a time...no long term planning...no over thinking...cause everytime i try and examine it...it's crazy...it's scary...it's damaged! Sooo damaged!!! i don't know if it can even be repaired...if anyone can fix it...can fix me! I can't breath! I am not even sure if i want to...

*if i was drowning...i would have drowned...too bad i don't have a McDreamy to save me... :(

SCARY AND DAMAGED

Been "blog"gone for a while, actually been "blog"gone for a year!!! And to think that during that period I've had three plane rides - to Bohol, Boracay, and Hong Kong; transferred houses AND workplace; celebrated a birthday; been wrongfully accused of being a mistress; actually thought of being a mistress (changed my mind 5 seconds after though, oh and am talking bout two different guys!); learned how to flirt; learned how to stop flirting; had a death in the family...oh and that's just to name a few of the bloggable things i should've blogged about! But oh well, i've just had my DSL installed so you'll soon be hearing all the other menial things happening in my life! Hahaha!



Now to the scary and damaged part...

I've always had the tendency to be an escapist! And I have lots of false memories! Scary combination! Makes me delusional at times. And sometimes it shocks me when reality happens! Like this family drama with my dad that I keep on not remembering and I never want to talk about. But sometimes, reality catches up with you and you have no choice but to face it... It caught up with me this afternoon and, like the escapist that I am, I will face it tomorrow.

How about that for a "come back" blog?

P.S.
Saw at E! that Angelina Jolie and I have this thing in common! DAMN!!! Why couldn't it have been Brad?!?

P.P.S.
I know you guys will be worried when you read this, but I'm FINE! And that's not the escapist me talking...It's the cold, scary and damaged me... Just kidding! I'm fine! SERIOUSLY!!! :)

MIGS

para sa mga kaibigan ko na nagmamahal ng lubusan, sobra sobra hanggang sa dumating na sa punto na ubos na ang sarili nila...

para sa mga kaibigan ko na nagmamahal ng mga taong may mahal ng iba...

para sa mga kaibigan kong nagmamahal ng mga taong di karapat-dapat mahalin...

para sa mga kaibigan nagmamahal na lang ng mga taong di naman talga nila mahal...

para sa mga kaibigan kong nagmamahal dahil takot sila magisa...

para sa mga kaibigan kong nagpapakababa ng sarili para lang hindi mawala ang mga taong mahal nila...

para sa mga kaibigan kong laging nagpaparaya sa mga mahal nilang ni minsan ay di nagparaya para sa kanila...

para sa inyo itong lahat...

ANG PINAKAMASARAP NA MAGMAHAL AT MAHALIN AY ANG ATING MGA SARILI! NANINIWALA PA RIN AKO NA HINDI MO KELANGAN NG LALAKE PARA MAGING LUBUSANG MASAYA AT KUMPLETO ANG BUHAY MO. KELANGAN MO LANG PASAYAHIN AT MAHALIN ANG SARILI MO. HANAPIN MO ANG IYONG MGA PANGARAP ATTUPARIN MONG LAHAT ITO! UTANG MO YUN SA SARILI MO...SA BUHAY MO! AT KUNG MAKAKAKITA KA NG LALAKE NA SASAMAHAN KA SA PAGTUPAD NG MGA PANGARAP MO...MAGALING!

AT OO, MERONG GANUNG LALAKE NA HAHAYAAN KANG MAGING IKAW, AT MAMAHALIN KA DAHIL IKAW IKAW! MERON NUN! HINDI SYA ILUSYON O PANAGINIP! HINDI SYA SA LIBRO O SA TV LANG MAKIKITA!

WE ALL DESERVE TO BE LOVED AS MUCH AS WE LOVE OURSELVES! WE SHOULDN'T SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN THAT!

like a bad relationship...

I was so decided to leave...it's not woth it anymore! I slave myself but in the end everything would still be my fault. I give all I have to give and all i get in return are more troubles than i could bear... EVERYTHING IS TOO MUCH UP TO ME AND I DON'T LIKE IT! I wanna get iut so badly!

BUT! The thing is everything is up to me...everyone depends on me! It's up to me to make things better for everybody. And again my Superman comples kicks in!

A great task lies before me...I knew this from the very beginning...the problem is I still don't know how to accomplish this task. But what I do know is that if I leave, if I leave this people behind, it would only get worst!

so now i have to choose: to be selfish and run away for self preservation...or be selfless and sacrifice my freedom for the sake of these people I came to love...